I Already Failed My No-Buy Year
It started with a gift and ended with COVID.
I only made it one month. Four measly weeks without buying something! Then my husband said, “I’m gonna buy you those shoes you were eyeing.” Wide-eyed and giddy (although I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore, gifting ranks high amongst his love languages), I reluctantly accepted the gesture.
A few days later, I was hit with a post-run headache and chills. I must have gone too hard or not eaten enough. I thought as I drifted off to sleep, only to wake up in a full on sweat with a runny nose and hacking cough. Two years in and COVID had finally made its way to our house.
Emboldened by the gift already shipped in the mail and bored out of my tree, feeling crappy and unable to leave the house, I placed a few more orders. A few gifts, with a little something for me to hit the free shipping threshold snowballed. It was all over.
But rather than get down on myself, I’m taking this opportunity to reflect on how shopping functions in my life and why rigid rules aren’t always the best approach to change for me.
The Function of Shopping
Habits serve us in different ways. Shopping is a combination of things for me: research, curation, entertainment, and emotional pacifying.
Research: I’m studying Fashion Design and Construction at Parsons this summer. So oftentimes, learning about design house codes, researching fabrics and construction methods very quickly dovetails into shopping. I’ve ordered some good old fashioned books to help satisfy my thirst for knowledge and make this slippery slope a little less easy to slide down.
Shopping is also one of my favourite ways to get to know a new city. The shop girls and guys usually have great restaurant recommendations and will nerd out with me about designers and styles I’m into. The boutiques often feature local makers that give you a sense of the pulse of the city. Plus, the neighbourhoods with shopping districts are usually super walkable with great street art.
Curation: I mentioned the mythical perfect items that exist in any given wardrobe category before. While I love my wardrobe and feel at home with what I’ve got, there’s always more to see: a blessing and a curse. Shopping helps me define what catches my eye, the direction my style is going, and where I see opportunities to contribute a different perspective.
Entertainment: That COVID brain fog is real and a few days I could barely focus long enough to watch a half-hour television show or read a chapter of my novel. You know what doesn’t require much focus but will endlessly serve you new crap to scroll through? Online stores. COVID or not, scrolling around the new seasonal lines and seeing what’s out there is certainly entertaining for me.
Emotional Pacifying: Bored, sad, mad, anxious, happy, down, stressed? There’s a cure for that that won’t last long! Shop it off! Regret it later! Wonder why it didn’t solve anything! Scrolling on social media, through newsletters, and through online shops is a sure way to distract from those messy human feelings we’re prone to. If you are so bold as to fill your cart and follow through with a check out, you can even string along some endorphins for delivery day. Unfortunately, the unboxing is only putting off the inevitable: face your feelings!
Rigid Rules
I’ve built most of my life around flexibility. When I finished my Masters I wanted to travel more than anything else: enter freelance writing. From there, the thought of committing to anything, other than my husband, has been met with apathy.
I like to feel my way through my days, don’t stick to very many (any?) routines, and very few of my weeks look the same. It suits me. So when I try to introduce more hard lines and rigid rules, my instincts aren’t always to play along.
Do I always love this about me? No. Is it pretty cool that in a world often dominated by rigid rules, I’ve managed to build my own business and succeed? Hell yeah.
What Now?
When I’ve mentioned the no buy year to friends, 90% of reactions are: “A WHOLE YEAR?!” Many suggested a low buy year (i.e. only buying a set number of items per month) instead. Maybe that’s the way to go.
If I’m honest, I was anticipating a few blips along the way: some upcoming trips are in very shopping-friendly cities. I didn’t think the stumble would come so quick but, greeting failure with curiosity is a good path forward.
I’m not really sure what step to take next. Return to the no buy and extend until April? Set a number of items per month or quarter? Set a stricter budget? Keep being curious and add more flexibility to the whole thing?
Coming fresh off the slip up, I’ll need a few days to decide.
